Thursday, November 09, 2006

long week please end...

ugh... I am exhausted... I should be as smart as my husband... he's sleeping on the couch... but not me... I'm blogging

This has been a really long week... even though nothing really has happened. I guess spending all day yesterday CONVINCED that is was Thursday, made today (actually thursday) seem like it lasted FOREVER.

Piper is *walking*. She's not totally walking all the time, but she is making lots of little walks between objects without holding on. She oscillated today from happy and giggling, to pitching complete hissy fits for absolutely no reason. And seeing as how this day actually started yesterday morning, it made it even longer.

She has started a new game of hide and seek. She runs away (or speed crawl/scoots away rather) and hides behind the kitchen island, the dresser in our room, or the nook between the front door and the coat closet, and giggles until you "find" her. Of course I know exactly where she is and just keep saying Piiiiiiper, where aaaaaare yoooooooou? until she can't take it any more and peeks around wherever she is hiding. Really, it's the cutest thing in the UNIVERSE... but after 3 hours I'm like OMG ENOUGH child. I get it, you're hidden, can we watch The Backyardigans and eat sorbet now, PLEEEEEEEEASE??? Really though, as exhausted and sleep deprived as I am right now, I wouldn't give up one second of the day that I get to spend with her. She is so much fun.

She likes to sing Row row row your boat now too... she looks up and goes whoa whoa, and then I am supposed to sing it. sometimes she sings with me : whoa whoa whoa whoa (skip gently down the stream part) mimi mimi mimi mimi (skip life is but a dream part); and she always claps when I finish the verse, and then looks up and says whoa whoa for me to start again. TOO STINKIN' CUTE! I am trying to teach her signs for eat and drink, to attempt to distinguish from milk, which she seems to sign when she wants to nurse, and when she wants to drink from a cup. And we're working on the hand motions for Itsy Bitsy Spider.

The doctor wants me to Ferberize her... I know so many people swear by it... but I just can't do it. I'm not capable of listening to her cry it out... I just can't do it. I may be losing my mind from sleep deprivation, but I will completely lose my sanity if I have to hear her screaming for me and not being able to go get her. I KNOW that I would not be strong enough to last it out, and therefore know that I shouldn't even try. Because if I cave, it just makes it worse. I mean honestly... is it REALLY so bad that she sleeps with us at night? She's a teeny little girl. I (almost 30 year old woman...) can't STAND to sleep alone... if Dan isn't home I get all creeped out... is it fair to make my 15 month old daughter do it? I think not. So I'll be a happy granola mom, with my baby in my bed, and bags the size of LL Bean Boat Totes under my eyes, but I'll be happy... well as happy as I can be on 3 hours sleep.

Last weekend I was convinced that I was PG. I was having phantom kicks constantly... and knowing my inability to take the pill exactly on time every day, I knew there was a possiblity. DH and I have decided that barring any accidents, Piper will be an only child. It's what's best for our family. So I took the PG test and it was negative. At first I was ok with it, it's what we wanted... right??? And then I was crushed. I kept thinking of the baby that I would never hold. The little face I would never kiss. The little toes I would never eat... it sucked... alot. My head KNOWS that we should only have 1, time, money, attention, sleep, sanity, they all vote for 1 kid. But the rest of me seems to disagree. So I guess I am going to have to live vicariously through Matt and his wife, she wants to have a litter.

Alright, I guess I should do something constructive before I go to bed... like polish off a big bowl of icecream.


Blogger Stacie said...

Sorry it's been a rough week! I was going to email you but I couldn't find your email address! I lurk at a message board that you might find some useful info on if you'd like the link just email me! bosco9700 @ yahoo .com!

11:08 AM  
Blogger Jan said...

I so understand Piper sleeping with you. When my grand daughters came to live with us 4 years ago, Santana was just 2. She slept between her grandad and I til just a few months ago, when she was 6. She is a tiny little thing and her being there probally gave me more comfort than her. We decided 6 and first grade would be when she slept with one of her sisters or alone. She was totally ok with that.
Hang in there. Things will get easier the older she gets. Treasure every moment now though, because they grow up so very fast.

7:30 PM  
Anonymous tracy said...

ah, maria - they wanted me to ferberize too...or farberize? dunno...sounded bad anyway you slice it...

hayley slept with us until about a year...then her own bed...she'd wakeup in the middle of the night and wander into our bed...never waking us...just being there in the am...that was perfect...when her father and i divorced she was 5 - and she crawled right back into bed with me for a few months...

ruby...well, she's 3 monday and i still end up crawling in bed with her a couple nights a week (our salvation with her was to get her a double size bed - big for a toddler - perfect for mommy & toddler!)...whatever...before you know it they are TWELVE and staying up until 2 am reading anime... :)

and the sleep thing - you're poor body will catch up eventually... :)

10:49 AM  
Blogger Melibelle said...

QMG! I was your secret santa like 5 million years ago... before Piper was born!! Found you when I was browsing Digital site! Look at you designing all this cool stuff!!! In case your memory is foggy my 2peas name is Melibelle!!! Anyhoo I'm off to check out some of your great kits!! I'm just learningt he whole digital thing! I'm thinking of making my own cards for Christmas!!

Good to "see" ya!!



PPS I found the Christmas card you made and sent me it's so cute!!! I moved recently and was forced to clean out my scrap space!! :):)

1:13 PM  
Blogger Valerie said...

The J-man slept with us forever, and even when he finally went to his own bed he'd climb in with us part way through the night. But they don't do it when they're twenty, so I say enjoy it when they're 1 (or 3 ;) ) That said I read a wonderful (crunchy) book about sleep, called the No Cry Sleep Solution. Even if you don't follow any of the hints it's great reading that we're not alone, that there are lots of us who choose our kids' happiness over Ferber.

8:26 PM  

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