Wednesday, February 01, 2006

It's February???!!!???

OK when the heck did it become February (and WHY is it spelled with that R that NO ONE pronounces...it's like Wednesday and that D...)

I have conflicting feelings about it becoming Feb... I don't want it to be Feb already because I turn 29 this year on the 19th...YIKES... by the way, this is the last time I am aging, from here on out all birthdays are my 29th. So it becoming Feb marks another year passing in my life...TRUE it was a GREAT year, with the hugest highlight of having Piper, but still, another year gone by...

I am excited that it's Feb because it's one month closer to the end of the semester. That's right, I am already counting down the weeks to the end of the semester (and this week is the 2nd week of the semester, how sad is that???)

I am very conflicted about being back to work. I am glad that Piper gets Daddy time, and sorta glad she gets time with Holly...ok so I'm not really glad about that but I keep thinking if I keep saying it, I'll start believing it...right??? I like being back in front of the class (most of the time...) and I think what I do is important to the students, I am very well-liked as a professor...BUT I feel so horribly guilty about leaving her 2 days/nights a week. She's on formula now when I'm gone (the whole pumping thing never really worked out), and now she's getting constipated from the formula. She totally fought her naps today, and the guilty voice in my head told me that it was because on T and TH I put her down for her morning nap, and then I go to work, and when she wakes up, it's Grandma Holly that she sees, not me, so nap time means mommy's going away. (honestly I'm not sure she's capable of holding memories long enough that this is possible...but that's what I thought regardless).

Holly washes my dishes when she is here...which you think would be a good thing, but she doesn't just toss them in the dishwasher, she hand washes them all, drys them, and puts them away. Still, you'd think that would be nice. This morning I get out a bowl for my cereal, and there is still chili remnants in the bowl from the night previous...so true she is washing the dishes...BUT she's not actually getting them CLEAN. Plus she is doing this all while Piper is taking a nap, and every day when I come home, (after telling her that Piper should be asleep for at least another 45 min or so after I leave) she says Oh Piper woke up about 10 min after you left...well you spent that 10 min clanking the dishes around in the sink I wonder why she woke up???!!!??? Yesterday, she made my bed... now that's going a little too far. If you're grossed out by the stack of dishes in the sink that I didn't get to, so be it. But leave my bed alone!!! True she has to enter my bedroom to get Piper up from her nap, Piper has a co-sleeper in our room that she sleeps in...but go in, pick the baby up, and leave...that is my private, personal bedroom. Unfortunately, Holly is so delicate, that I can't say any of this to her, because she would flip out and think that I hate her, and cry for days, and tell Dan how much I hate her, and then I would have to apologise for saying don't wash my dishes unless you're going to actually get them clean. SO on top of the 350,000 other things I have on my mind, I have to remember to do the dishes on Mon and Wed night, and to make my bed on Tues and Thurs... because I needed more stress...

Other than that, it's like 40 degrees here lately during the day, in the middle of the winter in New England. I'm tellin' ya, the earth has entered some weird weather vortex or something...next thing you know it's going to snow in July

In other news...Ania has a new apartment/condo/whatever. BUT it's in Groton, which is easily over an hour away. Now true, Groton is in CT and not in Poland, but could she live any farther away from me??? Piper and I are going out there on Friday, but this is going to be a VERY occasional occurrance, which really stinks because she is pg with my second "nephew" and I really liked being a big part of Krzys' life, and I am not going to be as big of a part of Raddik's life, plus they are planning to move to Poland in a year, so I guess this was all coming sooner or later...

Well that's about it for me...of to flip the laundry, and make sure I have everything ready for class tomorrow!

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